Wednesday, August 16, 2006

 

About Me: Medication

I've been on Lithium, Remeron, and Seroquel for 9 months now. I think they have tremendously helped with intially controlling me when I couldn't control myself. But as I've slowly regained control of my mind and my life I have been able to thwart many "psychotic" thoughts and start building a new, better life.
Of course I know the medication helps as well, but I strongly believe that self-awareness is the best medication for my disorder. You can give me all the meds in the world, sedate me, but I'll eventually become increasingly resistant to the treatment if I don't "buy in" to several things: 1. Yes I have this disorder. 2. Yes I NEED this medication to live a happy, better life. 3. I must be proactive, because this is MY LIFE first and foremost.
My spiritual life has been a blessing as well. Before my diagnosis I "felt" God sometimes and didn't others. My relationship, if I can call it that, with Him was hit and miss, up and down, unpredictable, on fire sometimes and completely dormant others, just as my life was. Since I have regained control...actually it's not regained, that insinuates I once had control...
Once I finally gained control of my mind, it very obediently followed my heart into a deep, prayerful, and meaningful relationship with my Lord and Savior. This has increasingly become the rock solid foundation I can rely upon in times of stress, happiness, anxiety, joy, anger, whatever. My spiritual side has become what it needs to be. The core, the center, the definition of me.
My relationship with God, my self-awareness and proactive approach to my illness, and lastly my physical medication have all been the right "prescription" for me.

11 Comments:

Blogger Bleeding Heart said...

Please help me to understand "Psychotic thoughts." What are they?

I truly believe for me that in order for me to take medication: 1. I have to accept the illness, 2. Understand and Comprehend the illness, and 3. I really want to go for a 2nd opinion.

Great blog! I love it

9:34 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yes, I agree with what you said about "buying in" to take your medication. But it's a physical illness, like I'm sure you've been told a million times. I, too, don't always "buy in", and ask my doctor on almost every visit if he's SURE I'm bipolar. All I know is what has has happened in the past right after I was diagnosed (suicidal depression for about 3 months), so I don't take chances.

Is there nothing you can look back on and say "I NEVER want to go through that again?" to keep taking your meds? That's what I've had to do. And it's worked for 5 years. Sure, I could say...it's not the meds, it's me. But is it really? I think by now I would have had at least one depressive episode, maybe not serious, but at least one, by now. Maybe for you it would be manic, I don't know what your demons are?

1:38 PM  
Blogger Amy Purdy said...

I am so glad I found my way to your blog! I have had trouble finding Christian insight into this disorder, which adds to the disillusionment of my recent diagnosis. I feel like Satan is using this to attack me at every angle. Still God has never left me, even when I have "felt" that He has. And lately, that feeling is quite often.

I look forward to reading more of your blog.

3:59 PM  
Blogger marja said...

I'm so glad I found your blog. I'm 60 years old, have been bipolar since I was 19 (maybe even longer ago than that?) and I, too, am a Christian. I don't know what I would do without my faith in Christ.

This blogging is new to me. My son has just set up a blog for me, but I'm not quite ready to go public with it. I have a lot to learn first. But, as I said, I'm glad there are blogs like this one that explore what life is like for someone who is bipolar and a Christian.

Dream writer: Psychotic thoughts are thoughts that are out of touch with reality. It might be paranoia, thinking that someone is out "to get you". Or delusional, where you think you are more important than you are (in a big way). Or you might hear voices (not usually the case in bipolar disorder) or think that a program on tv or radio was aired, especially for you. This is just a very rough description. If you could see "A Beautiful Mind", the movie, it would give you a very good feel for what it is to be psychotic.

I am an author and have written a book on life with mood disorder, "Riding the Roller Coaster." It's available at Amazon, but it's also in many libraries. I'm now working on a book about how God has worked in my life with bipolar disorder.

Your diagnosis is quite recent. But I think you will find that the suffering you are experiencing - as the Bible says in many places - will make you a stronger person in the end. You will understand others better when they go through hard times. You will learn to have compassion.

In 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Paul writes how God "comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." God is giving us so many tools with which to help others, but we learn how to use them through suffering.

We must pray for each other - that God will stay close when we are going through hard times.

I'm sorry I've gone on so long. But there is so much to say. I guess I very much need my own blog.

All the best. And I will look in on you often.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you. You need to be buying into the treatment or it just ain't gonna work. When I thought the meds were doing bad for me I just didn't take them. But when bought into the treatment I took the tabs. By the way chek out my new Bipolar based blog http://bipolarperspective.blogspot.com/ I'm doing it for therapeutic reasons. i hope it helps. Keep up the good blog handiwork. Peace.

2:58 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

hey - i need to know more about you. i definately need to understand more what to me is a paradox - bipolar and grace.

peace.

8:22 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Religious believes play such a powerful role in people's lives. I'm glad you find comfort in that.

2:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

3. I must be proactive, because this is MY LIFE first and foremost.

WOW. I am learning this and practicing it for the first time in my 37yr long life. I'm glad I'm not alone. My therpist tells me BP is just 50% chemical and 50% attitude and thoughts. We'll see - cause I'm not sure I think it's half and half... but I like what I'm thinking so far. And I found your site with the random button on the ring. He works in mysterious ways. Thanks

10:39 PM  
Blogger BlondeBrony said...

Glad to hear that things are going well.

Medication is always such a hot topic when it comes to mental illness. Odd?

2:26 PM  
Blogger alex said...

I shall therefore cite some examples of dreams which I have gathered from children. insulin. I can speak feelingly as to the annoyance (for I fosamax have known it by my own experience) when after inviting a number of my friends to meet some strangers, the strangers have sent an excuse almost at the eleventh hour.. There was a long pause. fioricet. The analysis also introduced the reminiscence of a naughty janitor's boy, who used to play with us children on the meadow in levitra front of the house; I would add that his name was Philip.. It would certainly be a simple and convenient solution of the riddle if the work of analysis made it at all possible soma for us to trace the meaningless and intricate dreams of adults back to the infantile type, to the realization of some intensely experienced desire of the day.. If a man leaves for an hour, twenty correspondents may zyprexa be howling, Where was Mr.. Then a sickle was lying on the board; next a scythe was added; and, finally, he beheld the likeness of an old peasant mowing the grass in front of the boy's distant parental lithium home.. A a pun upon the word kosten, which has prozac two meanings--taste and cost.. , we should adderall gain decidedly in working power.. I have had a domestic that lived with them at the thyroid time, so I know all about it.. I identify myself with meclizine him because the fate of his discovery appears to me typical of the acceptance of my own.. So, their meeting passed off without the explanation which Miss Bangle began to fear would cut doxycycline short her benevolent amusement.. The contradiction to my theory of dreams in the case of another female patient, the most witty amoxicillin among all my dreamers, was solved in a simpler manner, although according to the scheme that the non-fulfillment of one wish signifies the fulfillment of another.. She lifts up a trap in the floor, and there immediately appears a creature dressed in a brownish fur, which almost resembles a seal. hydrocodone. It is no objection to this view if there are borderlines for the dream amoxicillin where its function, to preserve sleep from interruption, can no longer be maintained--as in the dreams of impending dread...

5:38 AM  
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11:17 AM  

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